Here I am in Asia, my child, actually in Asia!
I have not yet been able to see the Muscovite splendours for myself, and have observed only that I am in a tremendously large village, with an Asiatic castle (the Kremlin) and various Boyar palaces at its centre.
I may add that I can thank my lucky stars that I did not wake up this morning feeling really ill: I went to bed yesterday afraid that I would. My poor throat & chest, especially, were so strained as a result of rehearsing with a couple of unmusical & dreadfully nervous singers that I suffered from violent chest pains for the very first time in my life. Before my departure I had 3 days of endless vexations, with insomnia and all the trimmings. Finally, everything about the concert itself affected me in the most extraordinary way, more especially the enthusiastic response of the whole vast orchestra, which almost overwhelmed me, so that it was a long time after they had welcomed me before I was able to begin, since I had first to regain a certain sense of steadiness.
Only Kath has again caused me a good deal of trouble. She seems to have a fairly stupid person as mistress of her every move. On this occasion the 3 best stalls seats were returned to me, on some pretext or other of impropriety: it was too late to exchange them, since everything else was already sold out. -
But I hope that the poor girl was at the concert, and that she has sent you a report on it. I then spent 20 hours, without rest & sleep, travelling to Moscow, so that I arrived here in a wretched state. But I hope that the exertions of these Moscow concerts will be the last that I have to endure for the present.
As from Sunday (the 28th) I shall again be staying in Petersburg for about another week, but only to conduct something of my own for a charitable cause, and also to rest and make allowance for the numerous personal relationships into which I have entered here. First and foremost is the Grand Duchess Helene. I feel as though she will have a great and decisive influence on the rest of my life. The impression which I made recently in Petersburg has astounded even my most ardent admirers. An hour before I was due to depart, I received a visit from some high-ranking gentleman, and I had to promise that I would speak to him again on my return. People seem to think it impossible that I should be leaving Petersburg for good. Fortunately, they look at everything very closely here and realize that if I am to work here, it should be only very rarely & by way of exception. -
Some people called to take me on a drive through the town, from which I have just got back, but I have only enough time to tell you that it is, after all, a quite astonishingly remarkable “village”. The Kremlin is a convoluted mass of the most amazing buildings, straight out of the Arabian Nights: from the top you can look down on a town of 400,000 inhabitants with 800 churches, many of which have up to 5 towers: everything is very colourful, bright, golden, domed - strange & wonderful, - so that I could not help laughing out loud in amazement. How like children we are! - In half-an-hour I have to be at the rehearsal, and then I scarcely think I shall get round to writing. And so a brief word now on my present feelings towards the plot of land. I feel as though I ought to leave everything in the balance for another 2 weeks. It is not out of the question that - someone - will have the house built for me, in which case I am attracted by the possibility of a larger garden with beautiful trees. - Listen! -
Look out for such a plot of land along the beautiful Rhine! Do not be bound by a particular place. - This is all that I can say for today. -
Everything else now strikes me as being over-hasty. Adieu my dear, sweet child! Sincerely yours,
R.
[...]
Source: Selected Letters of Richard Wagner, trans. and ed. Stewart Spencer and Barry Millington (W. W. Norton & Company, 1988), No. 284