Best of friends,
I am most grateful to you for your kind letter. You were quite right to suppose that my long silence was attributable to my ill humour. Throughout my life I have had to contend with a great many vexations, and the mocking combination of total impecuniousness and such an obstinate disposition as mine has at all times been the cause of bitter conflicts for me. No one really understands this, and yet it is plain for all to see if only people would look closely enough at me now, for ex. - now that I have everything within arm’s length that promises to lighten my life’s burden, and yet am so little capable of making concessions that I told the director of the Opera yesterday that Tannhäuser will be given as it is (without a ballet in the 2nd act) or else it will not be given at all. Quite what this obstinacy means is something which you yourself are in the best position to judge, since you know what my present position is. For I must confess that in all the 8 years that my operas have been given in Germany, I have never before known a situation like the present one: I used always to have some form of income and could survive in the way that I had chosen to lead my life. Now, however, my older operas are completely exhausted, my new ones are thwarted, enormous losses, and - no one to help me - !
All I ask for is credit during a slack period! Impossible! I unburden myself, and in return reap nothing but ridicule: - I read in the papers that I have received 10,000 fr., but the mockery that accompanies the article is all I have got for it. My Russian general arrives: it turns out that there can be no question of Petersburg next winter since I would have had to be there at the same time that I am needed here: and so - silence! - Now I have had to stave off claims from one day to the next: the most embarrassing shortages at home. My wife overwrought and sleepless. She is supposed to be going to Soden to take the waters there: but I cannot provide her with the money to do so. And so it goes on, and will continue to do so for at least another 6 months, assuming it can go on at all. And this happens to me of all people, of whom it is repeatedly being said on all sides that I inspire enthusiasm wherever I go etc. - Of all the people to whom I have turned, it is Mme Schwabe whom I am most justified in regarding as the one person who has really made an effort to help me. As things now stand, and as they have turned out, I can assure you quite truthfully that I have learned a great deal of respect for Mme Schwabe. When I recall how you came to me on that day of the most pressing need and how you were able to hand over to me the not inconsiderable sum that I required, I am bound to acknowledge her as the only person who has proved her worth. Tell her that! I wrote to her yesterday to tell her myself. — I now have no alternative: I must keep her waiting: But she will certainly get the money back. Do not be surprised if I do not shower praise on you, although I know well enough that what Mme Schwabe did was your doing alone: this, however, goes without saying, whereas the same cannot be said of Mme Schwabe. - There can no longer be any question of a subscription; everything here is completely and utterly unsuited to such an undertaking; what ought to have been the work of two days at most has dragged on for two indiscreet months, so that it has now not only got into the papers but, unfortunately, has also fallen into Fould’s hands, which itself is sufficient reason for me to decline my benefit. I have not yet seen Frau v. Pourtalès: - at all events, she has not understood what is involved here, and I have little desire to enlighten her. -
Let us forget the whole affair: all that remains is my debt, my gratitude and my apologies to Mme Schwabe; also - the hell from which I have not the remotest inkling how I am to escape. The only solution would be for you to interest Fr. Burdett’s rich heiress in my fate, of whom it is said that she has so much money that she does not know what to do with it; all I need is 5000 fr., the remainder of my deficit, in order to last out until such time as Tannh. has been performed. -
In spite of all this, I have been able to devote my sympathetic attentions of late to Garibaldi: and I confess that it is always with great eagerness that I have the evening newspaper brought to me: as you very rightly remark, this is the only thing that can even begin to cheer me up at present, since the artistic element is incapable of doing so, most of all in situations like my own: for this one must be free, not simply wish to be free. In moods like this I cannot find the freedom to read about art, so that Plutarch has again been providing me with the distraction that I need at present. I had previously been deeply impressed by his life of Timoleon which I came across quite by chance. This life has the unprecedentedly rare distinction of ending on a note of perfect happiness: a quite exceptional case in history. It really does one good to see that such a thing was once possible: but, with regard to all else that is noble, it cannot prevent me from recognizing that such a case has really only been set up by the world daemon as a decoy. This possibility had to remain open in order to be able to mislead countless individuals as to the true nature of the world: if this possibility had never existed, one could almost have assumed that it ought to be possible for us to take a shorter route to reach the point which - as it appears - we westerners can get to only by means of a very long detour. How many points of contact there were that even now could be drawn between Garibaldi and Timoleon. He is still fortunate: might it yet be possible for him to be spared a very real sense of the most terrible embitterment? I sincerely hope so: but I often tremble to see him like some fly caught in the great spider’s web of Europe. Many possibilities remain open, however. Perhaps the fly is too big & strong. He should not count too much on his people, but a great deal on his mountain infantry! For the rest, let treason, and the skill to direct it, help him. Through the baseness of those who are base, one occasionally conquers the insolence of the base. -
That you are coming to Paris is a great comfort to me. It is impossible for me to leave here, and I shall thank my stars if only I can get my poor wife to the spa. - Fare you well! Every good wish from
Yours,
Rich. Wagner
Source: Selected Letters of Richard Wagner, trans. and ed. Stewart Spencer and Barry Millington (W. W. Norton & Company, 1988), No. 259