Dear Anton,
A deep sense of well-being and of reconciliation with the whole of humankind overcomes me whenever I am reminded of your inestimable friendship. Accept my most sincere thanks, and may you enjoy, untroubled, the splendid self-awareness which your noble-hearted loyalty must needs afford you! -
Your news concerning my wife does not find me unprepared. From her letters and from her own confessions, it is quite clear to me that the poor soul must be in a very bad way. In particular, however, I can see that your own efforts to help her as a doctor have been prevented from enjoying any real success simply because my wife continues to associate with the kind of people whose company can have only a detrimental effect upon her. I am not speaking here of malign influences, but merely of the thoughtless behaviour of women in general, and of women of a certain inferior education in particular. She consorts with all manner of old spinsters etc., who - since women in general lack the most basic common sense - stand on a very low level of moral and intellectual breeding among the real Dresden element (well-known for being among the most miserable!). If it is not one thing that alarms her, it is something else: nothing but gossip, and yet more gossip! And then she is visited by Frau Tichatscheck who travels out from Dresden with the express intention of worrying my wife all over again concerning the matter of my pardon; all the calm which I have brought to bear and sought to communicate to my wife is again being destroyed; people are urging her to entreat me anew to take this or that step (totally unconsidered on her part), and so it goes on. Or else she goes to a performance of one of my operas in Dresden and then simply has to run from one person to the next, telling everyone she meets some delightful bit of gossip, with the result that she then returns home once again with her heart more violently agitated than ever. And then there are her endless worries about me, her expectations and her curiosity. Thus one thing is clear to me: the fact that my wife found you as her doctor was a stroke of great good fortune for her, but that it had to be in Dresden of all places was a misfortune. In any other place she would have been less exposed to all the influences that I have indicated here in brief. There, my dearest Anton, she cannot improve, for what she needs most of all, apart from medical help, is constant male supervision and to be moved to a place where it is easy to keep her away from all contact with pernicious female gossip.
As for Paris, you are mistaken. My wife will live with me here in the greatest seclusion. I have rented a most pleasant apartment, almost outside the town, in a new and extremely quiet quarter, in an elevated position, with the purest air, near the most delightful walks, the Bois de Boulogne etc. I, too, can survive only by leading a quiet life, without the buzz of society but with the greatest peace and quiet and the delights of domestic comfort. As for all the enterprises that lie ahead of me here, I shall involve myself in them only to the extent that they are strictly related to my own affairs and, conversely, I shall keep myself completely aloof from the kind of coterie that others seem to find necessary; fortunately, my reputation is so great even in Paris that I do not need to worry about considerations of this kind, but can go my own way in peace. My wife will lead a most agreeable and peaceful life with me here, without either of us causing the other the least inconvenience. [...]
This, then, is my plan. I hope, my dear friend, that it has your approval. For consider one thing! Decisive medical intervention was indispensable for my wife: but, in the last resort and in spite of all the skill and care which a doctor can give, it is moral influences that are the most important in an illness of this sort, and - as I well know - the life and death of my wife depend solely upon me! I can destroy her, but I can also save her: and so, since I know that her fate rests in my hands, my future behaviour towards her will be determined in advance with the greatest possible certainty. Trust me. There is another point that I have to communicate to you. It is of such a delicate nature that I can scarcely speak of it to a friend, but only to a doctor who is friendly towards me. One of the main reasons for my wife’s unsettled condition lies in my having ceased to have sexual intercourse with her, something which gradually came about of itself simply as a result of her poor state of health. I do not believe that I have to accuse her of a passionately sensual nature (although I cannot judge to what extent her extreme excitability and nervous tension may have influenced her in this respect); but what unsettled her more than ever before was the jealousy she began to feel at this time. She really does not know me well enough, and has no proper idea of the true seriousness of my nature. I now hope that, in time, she will find every reason to recognize how foolish her jealousy is; none the less, in view of the fact that her mental condition means that she is no longer responsible for her actions, I consider it important that you, as her doctor, should impose a strict prohibition upon her in this respect - indeed, you can turn it against me, half-jokingly - a ban whereby she must consider not only herself but me as well. I hope I have said all I need; unfortunately, things of this kind are of undeniable importance! -
And now once more, my sincere and deeply felt thanks, you loyal, noble and true friend! I shall give you no more news concerning myself, since this is always available to you from my wife. It is sufficient to say that I feel within me a sense of calm, and patience enough to deal with each and everyone. I am still hoping to bring about a performance of Tannh. this winter in Paris. I hope I may then succeed in selling the opera to a Paris publisher, and thus enjoy the satisfaction of conscientiously carrying out my promise of a prompt repayment of a not insignificant part of the money that I owe you.
Fare you well, then, give my best wishes to your dear little wife and your many many children, and be ever assured of my constant love and gratitude.
Yours,
Richard Wagner
Source: Selected Letters of Richard Wagner, trans. and ed. Stewart Spencer and Barry Millington (W. W. Norton & Company, 1988), No. 248