My most worthy friend,
Thank God I am now in the country, three hours’ ride from Dresden, in the most charming part of Saxon Switzerland, and can breathe again as man & artist! I have just been through one of the most appalling winters of my entire existence: envy, malice, stupidity - and a fatal slowness in the spread of my works beyond Dresden were the foes I had every day to contend with in that dreadful struggle; it was the kind of struggle, moreover, in which the person under attack must take care to defend himself with only the most extreme & scrupulous self-control, while all the time feeling that he has the strength to defeat his enemies in open battle, if only he were allowed to speak out. I find it difficult to tell whether my impaired health is the reason for my disgruntled & cheerless mood, or whether the latter is to blame for my indisposition; - one thing aggravates the other. Everything I started went wrong; as I write these lines to you now, I do not have a single guarantee, a single prospect for the future! If I continue for much longer to enjoy only local successes in Dresden, I shall soon have to say goodbye to all my future hopes. - I have some bad news for you, too, my dear friend, which I should have told you long ago: but who the devil takes pleasure in writing such a letter and hastens to break bad news? My efforts on behalf of your play have proved futile, and I would ask you to spare me from going into details which caused me considerable annoyance at the time and which I attempted unsuccessfully to overcome. The whole affair disgusts me. - Shall I return your play to you? There is no more disagreeable task than that! - My dear friend, we are all the most wretched slaves: it is bad enough to have to put up with tyrannical servitude; but what is more shameful than having to dismiss half-wittedness and foolishness with a mere shrug of the shoulders, perhaps sticking out your tongue at the other person once his back is turned? -
Shall I, by way of a pleasant contrast, mention my opera Tannhäuser, whose fine success has found increasingly profound and sincere support? The success of the piece ought to be a cause for great rejoicing, since it offers the finest amends for the direction my art has taken, - but - God knows the reason why - my sense of rejoicing is decidedly lacking! In Germany the opera still remains only a local success! - I am glad we sent my niece to Paris; according to all the reports I have received, she will learn a great deal from Garcia. She will be back in Dresden in August, - only then can I give my operas again. - If you visit us in September, you will be able to see Tannhäuser and Rienzi. The management wants to have the Dutchman again next winter - but I shall have to recast it from scratch.
- My dear Gaillard, I am still hoping to score a brilliant success with Rienzi in Berlin ( - when?!! - ) before launching a frontal attack on Paris; I have no desire to have another new opera produced in Germany. - Do you know what it is to have financial cares? You’re a lucky man if you don’t! - I now hope that the peasant’s life I’m leading at present will restore my former spirits and my health. I am living in a completely unspoilt village, - I am the first townsman ever to rent rooms here. My King has acted most charitably in granting me extended leave of absence! - I run around and lie in the forest, read, eat and drink, and attempt to put all thoughts of practical music making clean out of my mind! -
It would be utterly absurd if you were to be angry with me for breaking such bad news to you! God knows I have few enough friends, do not desert me on this account. You are so versatile and not easily deterred, I am sure you can take it! Remain true to me, and do not be discouraged by the effort it costs to be one of my friends!
My warmest good wishes to everyone! Fare you well!
Yours,
Richard Wagner.
Source: Selected Letters of Richard Wagner, trans. and ed. Stewart Spencer and Barry Millington (W. W. Norton & Company, 1988), No. 74