Dear Minna!
You must surely yourself know that your letters have given me a great joy: I heartily thank you for them! If I am not mistaken I detect in them a real note of cheerfulness, which I have so long been missing. Let us do everything to brighten our life: it is so serious, so wretched! I still tremble and shudder when I consider how things could be, had not Heaven so suddenly disclosed that miracle to me and sent me the real savior of my life. Now for the first time I realize increasingly that everything I once began, everything I reluctantly pursued in order to keep myself going (like the intended Tannhäuser production and the big London concerts which followed)—these came to nothing, and nothing, actually nothing, materialized. What I have created so far seems too little even to warrant my lifelong support. They again demanded a new opera without considering that I had four works still awaiting a good performance, for which they neither would nor cared to provide the means. So I am always looked upon basically as a vulgar opera composer, not much better than Flotow and Offenbach, of whom they also expect something new every few years—otherwise! . . . How humiliating for me! And how stingy! As if, for instance, Dresden would ever have rewarded me for my Lohengrin! Well, the right thing happened at last: that young King loved me for what I am and have achieved; he longed for me and wished that from now on I should live without troubles, contented if I should still find the world worthy to be presented with something. In the year of the first Tannhäuser performance that precious reward of my genius was born for me out of the womb of a Queen: in his fifteenth year he attended a Lohengrin performance and since then he has been devoted to me, warmly and faithfully. My external relation to him is quite undefined; he is happy to have me near him, is taking care of my living quarters, and has left it to me to arrange with his trusted cabinet-secretary for a salary, which I may draw regularly. On account of the immense sensation which my appointment made, also the dismay and envy, we considered it adequate not to exceed the amount paid by the late King to a poet like Geibel, etc. But I am not restricted, I am only restricting myself so as to keep my relation as pure as possible from the beginning. If I need more it is at my disposal. For the moment, dear Minna, I am happy to be able to take care of you from the plentiful Berlin royalties, without bothering anybody else, and even to pay off the debts incurred on your account. Today I ordered the Berlin Theater to send 400 thalers to your address in Dresden; therefore, you will not only receive the promised 200 thalers to complete your half-year's payment, but also an additional 200 thalers with which I urge you to pay back right away 100 thalers to Pusinelli and as well 100 thalers to good Pauline in my name, with the most hearty thanks. How glad I am to know that you will thus be freed of all care and evil, pressing worries. In the future, I shall always be able to provide you promptly with all you need, since I won't need anything for the rest of my life and so can use my other income elsewhere; in case of need a kindly resource will always be open to me.
Thus I am gradually recovering too. I needed it after the welcome my German homeland had offered to me on my return: I shall never forget those three years when I could get help only from Bohemia, Russia, Hungary, while in Germany every connection was carefully barred to me. You are fortunate to have been spared much of my bitterness!
Now I soon expect my young King to come back. I have promised to make music for him in my own way every day. Then I shall really work. In the fall, when the King can attend the theater again, I am first going to arrange a concert performance of my new compositions for him: let's hope that next year we'll achieve Tristan with Schnorr. If the singers are available, I'll also perform Lohengrin for him. What he most longs for is the Nibelungen. He wants to perform the whole work as I originally intended it. Otherwise, I have nothing at all to do with the theater: my position is quite distinguished, without any title, only personal.
The dear picture was the first answer to your good, beautiful letter. I hesitated until I had more detailed news about my Berlin receipts. And now I am happy that everything has turned out well. I approve your choice of Tharandt. The forest air is very strengthening for the nerves, and it is also true that you, dear good Minna, especially need rest and invigoration. It must come partly from within yourself. Resignation is our lot, forgiveness and lenience our only redemption from pain and passion. How well I have learned not to attempt the impossible! Forbearance and kindness pave the road in the end to any true peace of mind. . . .
The memory of Jacquot greatly touches me. My landlord in Penzing, an old baron, has presented me with an old, very beautiful big hound which I have actually brought along with me. It is brown, its name is Pohl, and it is an exceedingly kind, intelligent animal, which I feed for charity's sake. The King had learned about it and wanted me to bring it along. Well, greet Jacquot from me; it is nice to hear from him. Greet old Mathilde too—I see you aren't getting rid of her after all. Greet the Heines, Pusinelli, and Pauline. You shall surely have good news from me soon again.
Farewell, dear good Minna! Take care of yourself and your returning good spirits; you will so awaken in me joy and fair hopes!
With all my heart,
Your
Richard
Source: Letters of Richard Wagner: The Burrell Collection, ed. John N. Burk (Macmillan, 1950), No. 270