For You Alone
Above all, my good Minna, a few lines for you alone. What you write me about Mother grieved me much: you are the last one in the world who should have to suffer from her pestering. Luise, when I saw her here, told me about it; she mentioned that Mother is full of praise for you, but added that however you should treat her, getting around her as best you could, you could not possibly stand it for any length of time, even if you were an angel of patience. I almost reproach myself bitterly that I have to leave you alone with her so long. I knew all this, of course, but I have come to feel so much above Mother's naggings that they no longer impress me, and every moment I say and think to myself: "Say whatever you want! You are an old sickly woman! I can't educate you any more, so I'll try to bear with you, because you are my mother, who I know dearly loves me! But I don't give a fig for your wisdom," etc. If she ever goes too far and I am not in the humor to control myself, I fly out at her and she gives in. This is the way with old women! So for a long time I have not minded being pestered by her. But in your case it is different. You, my dear wife, ought to be treated with a special forbearance. You should be spared every possible annoyance, because in the first place you deserve every consideration, and in the second place you would be more injured than anyone else by rough treatment, for very obvious reasons. Indeed it is a bitter sorrow to me to know that you and your health are subjected to so much, and every additional day which you spend under such conditions is a reproach to me. That is why I am very much put out about your staying away so long. Therefore only on your own account, and for the sake of your health, which is important to me above everything else, I earnestly beg you, my dear wife, to accept my point of view about my mother. Think about her as I do, as I have just told you, and remember that I punish her by paying no attention to her allusions and silly teasing. This is the main point and the whole reason. Since Heaven has willed that we are to live so close to my mother (which was truly none of my doing), you will have a new claim to my gratitude by continuing to nurse her—in spite of your reluctance; if she doesn't respond with the gentleness which is due you, hers will be the greater fault, and in the future we shall be less to blame if we avoid her as much as possible. The fourteen days here in Dresden will be easier for you when I shall be present. Well, my good child, I am grateful to you for your goodness and let me beseech you not to yield to your anger and to watch your health as the most important of all.
Your
Richard
Source: Letters of Richard Wagner: The Burrell Collection, ed. John N. Burk (Macmillan, 1950), No. 52