Tuesday, February 14:
Letters from Paris; our friend Nuitter wrote immediately, on January 31, after the capitulation. His touching letter has only just arrived; all this time he has been continuing the little payments for the life insurances! Claire also writes to me, with extraordinary self-control, talking only about small things, ignoring the whole disaster.
When we speak of various friends who have no sympathy for present developments in Germany, R. says: "Who suffered more than I did under the drawbacks of life in Germany? Indeed, I even got to the stage of wishing to see the whole nation dissolved, but always in the hope of building something new, something more in line with the German spirit. It was a great joy to me to get a glimpse through Constantin Frantz of the German Empire; and who cannot feel at least some hope, now that the Germans have shown such strength?"
Later R. says: "One could explain the whole world by saying that those who belong together are separated and are seeking one another, and those who do not belong together are united, for which there are also chemical reasons. If everything that belonged together were to be united, we should have perfect harmony, but also an end of life; that would be the Nirvana of the Buddhists. There had to be a fundamental division in Nature, though of course we can no more comprehend this than the state of complete harmony which excludes life. That is the reason for the popular belief that Paradise would be a boring place."
Great ardor on R.'s part puts me into a despondent mood; best of all I should like to live my life here unnoticed, reaping only beaming glances. I have suffered too much to be susceptible to other pleasures!