Cosima's Diaries

Diary Entry of November 15, 1870

Overview

Sunshine returns on a solemn anniversary: two years since Cosima's final leave-taking from Hans. Wagner calls this departure the origin of her religion, and Cosima meets the memory with heartfelt prayer. Fidi's night cry briefly becomes, in her half-sleep, Hans's complaining voice, binding motherhood and guilt together.

Content

Tuesday, November 15:

At last sunshine again, and with it a conflict between Russia and Turkey! The day is a solemn one for me: two years ago today I took leave of Hans forever. R. says my religion dates from this Hegira; I pray with all my heart. In the night Fidi called; half asleep, I thought I was hearing Hans’s complaining voice!

(Lusch photographed.)