Saturday, November 12:
Yesterday in my bath I thought how I might encourage Lulu to devote her whole life to her father—may Heaven grant me the boon of achieving this! With every sacrifice one makes one throws from one’s shoulders a part of the burden of life and walks more freely; self-will and self-love are the heavy ballast which restricts the soul’s flight!
Very bad news: the Bavarians have been repulsed by the French at Orléans. Very depressed mood on this account; R. says, “One lurches from contempt for the world to the deepest sympathy with it.” Letters from my mother and Prof. Nietzsche. I in a permanent state of inward contemplation; I think I am ripe for a convent. Went for a walk with the children. Made purchases for Christmas.