Friday, October 21:
The children better, are able to work with me. The Willes invite us for Wednesday; R. says he enjoys strutting about with me. Wille has only been persuaded that Richard is all right since I married him! We drive into town in spite of the bad weather, R. buys Richter a dressing gown.
Richter is quite astounded by the introduction to the third act of Siegfried, which he is now copying; he discusses the instrumentation, particularly of the Norns’ theme. R. laughs: “Yes, it sounds like a child shrieking. As well as something holy and sublime there is a demonically childish and shrieking quality in it, like a virgin who has never loved or borne children. One cannot imagine a witch’s voice as anything but high and childish; it lacks the vibrating tones of the heart.”
R. is not entirely well, the bad weather is a strain on him. In the evening we read the folk play of Fortunatus with much enjoyment and remark that folk poetry never showed awareness of a moral purpose; that is an invention of our own time.
Richter has learned that Die Walküre is being given subscription performances in Munich! And there is nothing we can do about it! When I was already in bed and we had said our good nights, R. came to me again, saying I could not possibly know how much he loves me; to him it was like a dream that I was there always, he had the feeling I had only been lent to him.
This makes me send up a prayer; what blame can I lay on life, when, without merit of any kind, without a right, without anything that could explain it, I have found such happiness? And at the same time I see other, excellent people burdened with suffering. It is true I have my share of suffering, but it is on R.’s, on Hans’s account, never my own.