Saturday, February 18:
R. had the good night he hoped for, the girls enjoyed themselves, things are going in the right direction for Fidi, and so there would be reason enough for satisfaction. But R.’s mood does not improve, and lunch, along with a discussion with a paper hanger, upsets him extremely.
I sink into sleep, very tired after many sleepless nights. Count Tasca’s visit awakens me, R. comes in, very irritable, saying that strangers always make me wake up. We go for a drive to Parco, through glorious scenery; R. is somber, shut up inside himself, an almond tree offers him its blossom, which Eva, whom we have taken with us, plucks for me. On the homeward journey he reproaches himself, saying he can feel what a burden he must be on those around him.
We succeed in bringing him into a better frame of mind, and since the children go out again, we spend the evening alone in intimate conversation, mostly about Germany and its history.