Cosima's Diaries

Diary Entry of January 25, 1881

Overview

Wagner wakes from dreams of old quarrels with his first wife Minna and unresolved feelings about his children, though daylight restores his composure and he settles into work and a brisk winter walk. The household celebrates young Fidi's successful school examination and his graceful skating, and the evening is spent in agreeable company discussing letters from acquaintances about the Ring negotiations and the anti-Jewish movement. Conversation drifts warmly to personal memories of Heine and Halevy, and Wagner jokes about a photograph sent for his signature that he finds far too flattering.

Content

Tuesday, January 25:

R. dreamed of quarrels with Minna, of the salary which, almost always in his dreams, he draws from the Grand Opera, sometimes 12,000, sometimes 6,000 marks, and then of the children, whether he would part from them, but this unresolved. He says, “I only hope I do not blather about such things in my dying hour.”

He works, and we go for a walk in the palace gardens, content with the hard, clear winter.

Fidi had to undergo a little examination with the head teacher at the primary school today; he passes it successfully and is gaily praised by us. We also enjoy watching his curves on the ice, and we bless them all.

W. Frege's telegram is answered to the effect that R. will be perfectly satisfied if only the letter is transmitted.

In the evening R. tells us of two letters, one from Herr v. Weber giving his reasons for abstaining from the anti-Jewish movement in spite of the most comical bad experiences, the other from Lilli Lehmann. R. answers the latter right away, in order to clarify for her benefit the position with Hiilsen regarding the Ring. L. L.'s “Germanic deed” makes us laugh, and R. says, probably with some justice, that Hiilsen would certainly have got the better of them if he had not intervened with his “No.”

The conversation then moves on to Heine, and R. tells how he showed him his French text of Der fl. Holländer, in which, among other things, he had written “amateur” instead of “amant” (Erik to Senta). R. also gives a friendly personal reminiscence of Halevy.

The evening passes in congenial conversation, though R. says to me afterward that when several people are present, he feels as if he must never stop talking. On other occasions, when he is explaining something, I compare him to Frederick the Great giving instructions to Ziethen before the Battle of Torgau. He speaks of the superfluity of the B. Blatter since the new turn of events. (Weber's and Lilli L.'s letters in one of the green cardboard boxes in the salon: correspondence with friends; the reply to the telegram in the corner bureau, red folder i.)