Wednesday, March 19:
R. had a good night, and he works. He goes for a walk in the morning, wants to meet us since we are also going out, but my steps lead me to a sickbed (Melanie Staff) which may become a deathbed. I have to tell R. about my sad impressions, and the children weep many tears over their little playmate. A gloomy day, lit by bright sunshine and greeted by the trilling of larks! R. sees the first shoots.
He is worn out in the evening, and the thought that I may have caused him suffering is so unbearable that it turns into concern for his health, which then finds refuge in prayer.
“Oh, thou great force who created him, who wished him to be, let, oh, let him remain, desire his presence here below!”