Friday, May 10:
During the night our poor lonely deer cried so piteously! I felt this sound would never end and would echo inside me to all eternity. This lament, the terrible lament of sin, this cry, the fearful cry of desire! Desire, sin, how they resound in the silent night and fill one with pity for the poor beast, its call of nature piercing my heart!
R.’s carbuncle bursting at last, but he still cannot walk; however, he remains in good spirits and is working. But Vienna is causing him great vexation; he had written saying that it was precisely for Siegfried at the Imperial Opera that he wished to coach Herr Jager, who is proving to be a sterling character. Herr Jauner writes that Herr Glatz has already been engaged for this role. We remember our experiences with Glatz, and R. is hurt by Richter’s having “treacherously” made the engagement without saying anything to him about it.
R. is very affected. We are alone in the salon; he goes to the piano, plays Kundry’s narration up to “sie bettete dich auf weichen Moosen” [“she laid thee down on soft mosses”], and once again we are in Heaven, the evil world banished.
We then go out on the steps in front of the salon. A beautiful sunset has given way to a splendid evening, the moon is shining, stars twinkling; one of them falls, and I am ready with my wish: the Good Friday wish.