Cosima's Diaries

Diary Entry of November 16, 1869

Overview

News about reduced steamship shares begins a day in the study with the children while Richard works under the burden of music where every note must suggest the end of the world. Lessing, Schiller, and Plato's Meno deepen the evening's thought. Alone, Cosima revisits the Via Crucis of the previous year and hopes Loulou may one day bring Hans joy, while Richard describes her inner life as a convulsion that mirrors the world's state.

Content

Tuesday, November 16:

News that I am to receive only 10 shares in the steamship company. With the children in the study. R. works, but complains about his health and about his task (“when every note is supposed to convey the end of the world”).

After lunch read parts of Lessing’s Emilia Galotti and Schiller’s Fiesco in consequence of a conversation with R. about them. In the evening R. reads me Plato’s Meno; it arouses wonderful feelings in us.

In my solitary hours I think back on this time last year; with a heavy heart I tread this Via Crucis, may Hans forget those days! I cherish a fair hope in the thought that Loulou will one day bring him joy and share his life happily.

R. tells me today that I have recognized the entire state of the world in myself; it is a state of convulsion. Every thought, every joy, every sorrow, is a convulsion, and if it is not that, it is not worth much.