Cosima's Diaries

Diary Entry of October 30, 1874

Overview

R. is buoyant about the end of Götterdämmerung and speaks with unusual confidence, while she is occupied with the younger children and their schooling. Hans’s supportive letter gives her no easy answer, and the thought of boarding school leaves her deeply unsettled, even as R. later turns to Beethoven with critical reflections on performance and expression.

Content

Friday, October 30:

R. sings something from the conclusion of Götterdämmerung and says he noticed yesterday in the way things come together in this conclusion that he can do anything when he wants to; when I reply with a laugh that I can well believe it, he says, “No, as a rule I am very much lacking in routine - I have to want something.”

I am working now with the two younger girls, while the elder ones are in the sewing school and the high school for girls. In the afternoon, following their walk, I work with Lusch. Letter from Hans, agreeing very kindly with my boarding-school idea and wishing for only one thing - the preservation of my maternal authority and the avoidance of any discordant impressions for the children.

I am now asking myself whether I am doing right to send the children away from their home. Deep concern - oh, if only a God would enlighten us! In the evening R. studies Beethoven’s Les Adieux Sonata with Herr Rubenstein. In his playing the usual fault of making an emotional work of this kind almost unrecognizable through an unfeeling, unaccented rendition can be discerned again. R. explains to him that the difficulty of interpreting the works of B.’s middle period lies in the fact that they appear to preserve the old forms, whereas the themes and figurations go far beyond them - they are full of passion and deep emotion.