Friday, July 19:
The 5th volume arrives. Letter from Herr v. Gersdorff. R. works. After lunch we drive into town; R. again to the law courts concerning the Chemnitz theater manager, then to the Feustels’ and to the church to hear part of a curious organ concert. Afterward to the festival site, before that to our house.
Terrifying excavation works; R. says to me, “The people must be wondering if I am not mad, ‘making us work down here so deep under the earth, just so he can perform his plays up there above.’” Cheerful supper, R., Lusch, and I, sitting in the sun.
R. looks through Über Land und Meer for a story he had noticed in it two weeks ago; Moltke, Bismarck, Keudell, and even old Councilor Klindworth appear in it, all excellently characterized, and the events are also vividly and correctly described. “It gives me such comfort to see such things exposed, for then I think: Bismarck must have known it all much better. That was Röckel’s weakness, that he always thought he alone knew.”
Lulu shows me a picture of her father, along with a biographical note containing a remark about me which at first wounded me deeply, but which, after profound and calm reflection, I gladly accept as atonement for happiness as also for suffering.
Homeward drive by night; the moon glows red-gold through the shadows of the woods, in which fireflies are swarming; we are reminded of Faust: “Couldst thou but see, full moonlight!” “How splendid,” says R., “that Goethe completed Faust! In his youth and old age he felt himself to be a poet, his life between was a sort of distraction. ‘Once more you hover near me, forms and faces, seen long ago with troubled youthful gaze’—how splendid that is! One sees him greeting the friendly essence of his youth. I have no forms and faces, I know of no being whom I could name in connection with any of my works, but instead I found you, I now have Cosima.”
Deep emotion on our journey, lovely homecoming.