Sunday, December 3:
Spoke very seriously with the children, wept and prayed with them, brought them to the point of asking me for punishment. (Incidentally, heard very unpleasant things about Herr Spiegel.) As I am talking to them, a letter comes from Hans; he asks me to make the children practice the greatest reserve toward their grandmother and aunt; the family is tormenting him (to take the children away from me), but he is turning a deaf ear. Then he tells me that my father agrees with my decision to convert with the children, to Protestantism. Important matters! That the family, annoyed by seeing me treated with respect, wishes to affront me under the pretext of furthering the children’s interests, while in fact not considering them at all—that does not surprise me; but I am despondent about it, and am guilty of the great injustice of letting R. see that I am. How weak we poor mortals are! — A Wagner Society is being set up in Mainz, under the aegis of R.’s wine merchant! A report from Munich in the Musikalische Zeitung says that the orchestra always plays W.’s things well, but the classical things badly, and this is not right. What the good people forget, however, is that the works which go well were rehearsed by R. and Bülow, the classical works, on the other hand, by the present conductors! — My mood has affected R., he is sad. But gradually we manage to restore our spirits, and I put my trust in God!